stuff

it's the day before we leave for a three week vacation to the US, and like usual before a big trip, I am not having a good day. It's one of those days where Morgan won't stop crying, and after repeated, failed attempts at getting her to go outside or play with her toys, I finally give up and plop her in front of Barney so I can get some packing done. Today I am not mommy of the year.

Nor am I housekeeper of the year, laundress, or even, probably, wife. (All day long I've been silently cursing Bob for being able to go to work everyday while I deal with a whiny Morgan.) All I really want is to do is blink my eyes and appear at my mom's house on Tuesday afternoon. No list making, packing, airport, 15 hour flight, immigration, rental car woes, etc. I want the impossible - I want magic.

Genie, where are you?

Income

I have to admit, I've never made much of the green. As a teacher in rural Ohio, my top income was about $25,000. This was over halved when I became a full-time graduate student for five years. So, I've been used to not making much money. When Bob and I hastily got married to move to China, and I abruptly had to quit school and my job as a graduate assistant, I then had to get used to not making any money. This may not sound like such a big deal to most married folk - the whole "his money is my money" concept is pretty common, but my independent spirit really asserted itself in the beginning (I know, big suprise). It seemed wrong not to be working and making money. Of course, I eventually got used to this life of leisure and then Morgan came along, the whole stay-at-home mom thing happened. . . What I'm saying is that I eventually stopped worrying about it. Until this week.

I posted a few weeks about about Morgan taking some test pictures for a catalogue shoot. She was grumpy and didn't photograph well so I didn't expect anything to come of it. Well, yesterday I got a call from the photographer that she actually did get a gig - shooting baby carriers - this Wednesday. It's all in good fun - I thought it would be cool to show her some flyer when she gets older with her in it. Then I realized, Morgan actually makes money from this. Ok, it's not much money - somewhere around $40 for an hour's work. But, that $40 is more money than I have contributed to our household income in the last three years! Does that make me feel small and unimportant? Yeah, a little bit. Am I a tiny bit jealous? Yup, I think so. My slightly-less-than two year old daughter makes more money than I do. Again, I am faced with a bit of moral discomfort that somehow this is wrong on several levels.

I comfort myself thinking that in less than a year I will be back home and, hopefully, soon thereafter reenrolled in school to finish my Ph.D (yep, look at me throwing that out there to make me feel big and important again). Of course, that graduate income that I'll hopefully be getting again will only just pay for Morgan's child care while I finish that degree. But, that's a whole other topic of guilt and discomfort. Until then, I'll just suck it up and probably go have a lavish lunch or shopping spree - courtesy of Morgan, of course. ;-)

How I Wish I Could Read Chinese. . .

We came across these (what I can only imagine to be) public service messages on our walk Sunday. They were too funny not to take a picture of. Is it just me or is the one about masturbation????

Walking the French Concession

Since leaving the downtown area, I have really missed being able to walk the former French Concession tree-lined streets. So, this weekend, we decided to head back downtown for a little walk. Before heading out, we stopped off for breakfast at Haya's, a Mediterranean restaurant nearby. They had excellent omelets and Morgan and I both enjoyed our first foray into pancakes with Nutella - who knew chocolate could be so yummy with breakfast?

Afterward, Bobby (our driver) dropped us off near O'Malley's, an Irish pub downtown. Our walk was originally supposed to follow a planned route from a book I bought at a recent x-mas bazaar, but I misread the start point, so we ended up just walking around instead. Luckily, we found Pantry Magic, a store with imported kitchen goods I've been meaning to check out. There were some great items in the store, but we had the best laugh at two of the signs posted in the store. Someone should really tell them that if they are going to cater to expats, they might want to change the descriptions on some of their products!

It was a nice day for December in Shanghai – sunny and in the 50s, so lots of people were out. Many of the Chinese love to stop and say hello to Morgan, and she loves watching them, too. We saw several fresh roasted chestnut carts (I never realized before living here that people actually do eat roasted chestnuts!) beside roasting sweet potato carts – it’s definitely x-mas time when these show up. We also admired many of the older homes still standing amidst office buildings and skyscrapers.

We had a great walk, but we ended up cutting it a little short due to the cold and Morgan’s cough that’s returned in the last few days. It’s a good thing there are lots of restaurants around where we could pop in for a coffee. We ended our walk on Huai Hai – a main shopping artery in downtown. Before leaving, we stopped for a photo op for Bob and Morgan beside the ubiquitous triangle x-mas “trees” in Shanghai. When they do x-mas in Shanghai, they do it big, and most large shopping areas have some version of the triangle tree. Hmmm, that might be a good photo blog in itself. . .

Saturday X-Mas Party

This last Saturday, our compound hosted their annual Christmas party for the residents. Coming from our former residence Shanghai Centre (and associated with the 5 star Ritz-Carlton hotel), we didn't have quite as high hopes as our x-mas spread last year. It's a good thing or we would have been a little disappointed. The SC food was gourmet catered by the Ritz hotel. This year we had mayonaise and mystery meat triangle sandwiches, oreos, and crackers. It was all in good fun, though, and we realize that food at a party isn't really the main thing. At x-mas, it's SANTA! Santa at Ridgewood (our current compound) did come loaded with presents for the kiddos. We really must have lived here long enough because Bob and I weren't the least bit shocked to see a thin Chinese Santa arrive. Morgan still wasn't very impressed and refused to sit on his lap without mom's arm around her. Maybe it was that fake beard or pillow belly that came up a bit too high. Whatever it was, Morgan was in a hurry to get her present and get out of there!

The compound employees did try hard to make a nice party. To start and end the festivities, they sang Christmas songs karaoke style. The residents all joined in, and Morgan even clapped after every song. Morgan liked her gift from Santa - a miniature version of himself playing a saxaphone (a loud, tinny sound only Chinese toys seem able to accomplish), although she was often more intent on chewing it than playing with it since a tooth was coming in. Mom wasn't as impressed with the toy and has not allowed the sound to go back on since! Overall, we had a great time and appreciated our compound's efforts to make our x-mas season festive.

Morgan's Bedroom/Bathroom - 2nd Floor

These pics are of Morgan's bedroom. The furnishings here (except for the curtains) are all ours. The crib is from the US, but otherwise, most of the furniture pieces have been (usually custom) made here in China. The last pic is of her duck-themed bathroom.

Master Suite Pictures - 2nd Floor

ok, so here we are in my master bedroom. Our 2nd floor consists of the master suite and one other bedroom and bathroom (Morgan's). We really haven't done much with our bedroom - many things are the compounds, and I haven't been motivated to decorate it much because no one ever really sees it. The first two pics are the actual bedroom area and the 3rd and 4th are of my bathoom and closet, which are located as you enter the suite to your right and left, respectively. The closet is nice, but Bob has too many clothes and he keeps wanting to encroach on my space! Traditionally, shouldn't the woman have more clothes? I guess I am anything but traditional. . .

These two bottom pics are of the office/study, located in the master suite. You can see the entrance to this room in the top two pics. It's like all my offices are: messy and cluttered. It drives Bob nuts, and he can't wait til we buy a house of our own where he'll have his own office.

Waiting for Winter

Unlike the US where winter is declared on an arbitrary day, China officially declares winter when the average daily temperature falls below 10 degrees Celcius (50 degrees F) for five straight days. Reports were abound last week that a cold front was afoot and winter would likely be ushered in. Friday afternoon the temps started to drop, and Saturday and Sunday did bring about chilly weather - highs in the 30s, from the previous week's averages in the 50s. Winter coats, hats, scarves, and mittens were dug out of closets everywhere. Clear blue skies and starry nights kept the temperature low. Ok, I won't go that far - I didn't actually see stars. Normally, a low cloud of pollution over the city helps keep our temperatures mild during the day and night. Alas, Monday morning brought a return to higher temps, and by Tuesday afternoon, we were back in the 60s. According to Fu Yi, a forecaster for the Shanghai Meteorological Bureau, "The warm weather retarded the city's move into winter." (I really can't top a statement like that)

With this week's predicted high temperatures ranging from 66 to 50 degrees F, I guess we'll have to wait a bit longer for winter.

*Picture above courtesy of Tracy, taken last February during Shanghai's biggest snowfall in 20 years.

Things I'll Miss About Living in Asia

In the spirit of making this blog about living in Asia more positive, I've been asked to list some things that I will miss when we move home. Since that date is about six months away, I figured I had better get started thinking about it! And yes, this blog entry will make you believe that I am living a spoiled life. Yup, I do believe I am. But, since I'll be going back to the real world when we move back to the US, I'm making the most of it while I can. This is for you, Jill:

1) Having an ayi (domestic helper) - Upon repatriating, this has to be the number one thing most wives miss about living in China. I, too, am not looking forward to the day when I will have to clean my house, do my laundry, and look after my child all by myself everyday. :-) Even though I have often complained about my ayis to many of you and have gone through four of them in two years, I absolutely love having this perk. For the low, low price of $441.00 every month (for a more expensive Philippina), I have a wonderful person come in 25 hours a week to help clean and watch Morgan. Since I never believed that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom, having another person come in to provide me some get-away time every day is beyond priceless. Yes, I could manage to do my laundry and clean my house by myself, but I figure, why do it if someone else can do it, too? As Bob's former boss once said, I believe in specialization. My specialization is teaching. If I can get someone else to do my laundry and cleaning, why not?

2) Cheap massages - I've written before about how cheap you can get a massage in China. Actually, if you really want to do it cheap, you can get one for less than $10. Since I frequent those places that cater to expats, we pay about $25. Hands down, you can always find an hour long massage for less than half the price you pay in the US. It's one of those perks that you take for granted - every time we go, which seems far too infrequently, we ask ourselves why we don't go more often. For me, this also ties into the above item. I won't be able to just take off in the afternoon for a relaxing massage when I don't have an ayi to watch my child. :-)

3) Traveling - One of the things I love the most about living in Asia is the ability to travel to places I would otherwise never see. The flights to this part of the world are so long - about 15 hours flight time to Eastern China, over 20 to Singapore - it's not a place we would normally think about visiting for vacation, especially with children. Traveling to Western Europe, no problem. The Carribean or South American - easy (relatively speaking, of course). Plus, we will lose the all important r&r money many companies currently provide to help make living here (and traveling out of the country) easier. I've seen many amazing places - Bali, Singapore, Bintan, Japan, Thailand, etc. and will sincerely regret not having seen more. Damn, if I just hadn't had that kid, we'd have traveled more! :-)

4) Traveling with Children - now I know what you are thinking - What???? Let me explain. Traveling with children in the US is not enjoyable. I have many memories traveling alone with Morgan and going up to security with stroller, carry-ons, and baby. As I struggle to get the laptop out of the backpack, lay out my medications and soy milk for Morgan, security officials bark at me to get my baby out of the stroller and get it up on the counter. As I step to the metal detector, they yell at me to take off my shoes. After I go through, I get searched (while holding Morgan who is now crying) and told to pick up my things, all with impatient travelers behind me. I know, I know - many of my dear friends have done this with two, three or four children! But, I know you get what I mean. Traveling in the US sucks. Traveling in Asia, however, is lovely. See, in China they provide special lines for people traveling with children. Have you ever seen those long lines at immigration? Not for people with children - you get to go in a special VIP line that is short and where immigration officials are quick (and usually friendly, I might add). At security, another VIP line! Most of the time I don't even have to take Morgan out of her stroller. They just roll it though the metal detector and hand search it while Morgan sits there looking curious. While I get my laptop, medications, etc out, they are busy entertaining Morgan so I don't have to worry about her getting upset. People in Asia love children. While sometimes this can be a bit annoying and over the top, when you are traveling, by far it is a huge bonus. Do you think we can have the Chinese provide some sensitivity training for our security and immigration officers?

Ok, I know there are more things that I'll miss when I return to the US, but right now I am stymied. I guess this means that it'll be another blog entry later. :-)

Living Area and Morgan's Playroom

Here are some pics of our general living space. To the left is our tv area with our tiny tree in the background. Most of the furniture in this living space is ours that we've aquired here in China, although a few pieces are the compound's. Below is our knicknack corner - thank goodness the shelving comes bolted to the wall because Morgan already tries to climb it. It also showcases our small, yet growing, collection of masks we've bought on our international journeys. The other picture is looking toward Morgan's playroom and the front door.

Below are some pictures of Morgan's playroom. Most people here in the compound (in fact, all of them, I think) use this space just off the main living room as another general living space. But, since it's just the three of us, a playroom is more convenient for us so I can keep an eye on Morgan while doing other things downstairs. Plus, if we have guests and it's too atrocious looking, I can just shut the door!

First Floor - kitchen & dining room pics

My kitchen is sort of horseshoe shaped. In a total sense, it's pretty big for Asian kitchens, but its configuration still makes it workable for only one person at a time to be in one given area. The above on the left is of my corner "pantry" area, and the right picture is the back of the kitchen with our water and basically junk. Behind me (not in the pictures) is a small laundry room. Below are the forward pics of my kitchen. The cabinets are high, too high for me - I need a stool to reach anything over the 2nd shelf from bottom. There seems to be lots of storage space, but certainly not what we're used to in the US. Many things, especially 110 volt appliances, are stored on my 3rd floor.

This area is a pic of my dining room. Like most places with kids, even my general living space has kid stuff. Morgan does have a booster seat in the dining room and a portable seat in the kitchen, but lately she prefers sitting at her Ikea table. If we're not eating together as a family, she usually eats there. The dining table came with the house - we hate it! But the buffet table in the back is one of our purchases here in Shanghai.

Outside Pics

My friend Jill asked me to post pictures of our house here in Shanghai. So, over the next few day I'll be posting some pics of our home. These pictures are outside the house. Above, the view is toward my house with the playground behind me. One thing I love about our (gated) compound is the fact that it's small enough that the kids (and parents) feel safe to play on the streets. Below is a pic of the outside of our house - I know, ugly as sin. Something like a Alpine chalet gone wrong. The other is a view of my garden. It's small compared to lawns in the US, but in actually, it's pretty big for a private, fenced garden here in the city.

Import Shopping

Ever wonder what it's like to shop for imported food goods in Shanghai? Here are a few items that I picked up last week:

Wishbone Fat Free Italian Dressing - $7.50
Newmans Light Rasberry Walnut Dressing - $8.79
Sour Cream (small tub) - $4.38
Can of Dr. Pepper - $1.16
Can of Sprite - $1.76
Can of (Chinese) Diet Coke - $0.37
Planters Honey Roasted Peanuts: $7.66
Small pack of M&Ms - $1.88
Quaker Life Cereal - $10.00

Ok, most of that was junk in preparation for our Thanksgiving last week. Next time we go food shopping, I'll post again. :-)

Morgan's photos

A few weeks ago, I saw a call for child models for some catalogue work. I know a few other expat moms who've done it with their children and had good experiences, so I thought we could try it. I'm not saying Morgan is the most beautiful child, most photogenic, etc. I just thought it would be fun. Unfortunately, the test pics were the day Morgan was starting to get sick, and she also refused to nap that day. :-( So, the pics weren't all that great, and I'm sure we won't get called for the actual catalogue. But, here are a few of her better pics so that you can see them. We did an impromptu one of us together at the end, and I was not expecting to get my picture taken! It was only after that I realized I had put one of Morgan's bows in my hair for safekeeping!

Thanksgiving Dinner

We celebrated Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday evening instead of the traditional Thursday since it isn't a holiday here in China. Our guests were friends from the Portman (our residence for the first two years) Dorsey and Joel and their two girls Lily and JoJo and new friends Christi and Tom (new to China) and their two girls Sophie and Janie. Morgan, JoJo, and Janie are all about the same age, within a few weeks, as are Lily and Sophie, so it was all set to be a great time for the kids. Unfortunately, with Morgan having bronchitis, we had to banish her to the 2nd floor with her ayi, Cathy, as soon as guests arrived. So, instead of having fun with the other kids, Morgan watched Dora and Barney in mommy's room all night. :-( However, with ayi Runa to watch the other kids so moms and dads could eat and socialize, I still think everyone had fun.

We ordered our 16 lb. turkey from Bubba's, owned by a Texan, which specializes in slow roasted pulled pork and ribs. This year he offered to do smoked turkeys for 700 RMB (roughly $100) - and hands down, it was the best $100 we've spent in a while. The turkey was absolutely fantastic - delicious, juicy inside with a spicy, crusty skin. Actually, it was probably too spicy for me - I got a small bite on accident and had to down a glass of water to ease my suffering mouth. We had mashed potatoes, roasted garlic green beans, and the stove top stuffing wasn't too bad! Unfortunately, our attempt at instant gravy was a bust, but it was pretty much the only casualty of the night. Dorsey contributed sweet potatoe casserole that had the best topping - I must have that recipe - and homemade pumpkin pie - YUM! Christi brought a salad, brownies (yum- a new must have for Thanksgiving - well, anytime, really), and a delicious apple pie from our favorite French bakery in town, Pauls. We had lots of wine and too much food - can a Thanksgiving really get better than that?

Thanks Christi and Dorsey for helping to make our Thanksgiving feel like home!

Morgan's Hospital Visit

As I said in one of my earlier posts, Morgan had been sick all week. Twice I made and subsequently cancelled a visit to her pediatrician. Morgan would have a rough night and/or morning but would seem to be better in the morning. But, after three days of a fever over 100 degrees, I thought it was time to go in. Unfortunately, there were no pediatric appointments on Saturday and the family doctors were booked, too. We also checked another western facility nearby, but they needed a passport since we hadn't visited before and ours were at Bob's office so they could be turned in to the local police station for the mandated updating of residence visas. With the impending visit that night of four of our friends and their four children, we needed to get Morgan looked at. So, off to the ER!

This was nowhere near our first visit to the ER in Shanghai - with accident prone Melissa and a small child, we've had our fair share of emergency runs. Oh yes, let's not forget the time two months after we first arrived when Bob thought he would be funny with Melissa's exercise equipment and snapped a trainer bungee into his eye! Getting back to topic. . . I had high expectations of a good visit to the ER and was not disappointed. We were ushered immediately into one of the fever triage rooms (one of two), separated from the rest of the small ER. A nurse immediately took Morgan's temp and said "Oh my - take her clothes off!" Apparently, it was 39.7 degrees, about 103.5 F. Plus, this was 30 minutes after her last Motrin dose - so the nurse gave her some more and we waited for her temp to come down. Five minutes later, in walked the doctor, a local who could speak English and a tech from the lab to take blood. After her blood draw, during which, of course, Morgan screamed the entire time, the doc listened to Morgan's chest while she freaked out some more, screaming "Mama, Mama!" the whole time - I'm surprised he could hear anything over her uproar! He thought it was bronchitis but wanted to wait for the blood test. Within ten minutes, we had the results - a bacterial infection - so antibiotics and cough medicine were prescribed. We would have been on our way, but with Morgan's high fever, they wanted me to keep her around until it came down. In came the nurse - 39.0 (102.2) with a lecture about making sure Morgan was well hydrated. That's usually the only problem I have with the hospital - the nurses always project this attitude of condescension, an "I know better than you" so you should listen to me demeanor. Now, I appreciate nurses - in my family both sisters are nurses, my mom is a nurse, my brother and stepbrother and both of their wives are nurses. Believe me, if I didn't appreciate nurses, I'd certainly hear about it from someone. However, I always feel the Chinese nurses take it one (or five) step/s too far in telling you how to take care of your child. We had the same problem when we were in the hospital for Morgan's birth, but I digress, so I've made Bob promise he would post those blogs. Anyway, I KNOW that if Morgan has a fever, she should be hydrated. Every 10 or 15 minutes I offer her something - anything - to drink or eat. But, come on, she's a toddler - she likes asserting her own independence. If she continues to say no, then I'm not forcing her as long as she takes something occasionally.

15 minutes later the nurse took Morgan's temp again and it was finally down to 38.7 (101.6) so we were allowed to leave. All in all, the whole trip including drive time took about an hour and half. If we were in the US, we'd probably still be in the waiting room after that time! I guess if you've gotta get sick, the western hospitals in Shanghai aren't necessarily a bad place to be.

Hodgepodge

Since it's the holiday back home, Bob decided to take a 1/2 day yesterday off work (to golf, of course) and all of today. Morgan has been sick and getting up often at night, so it was nice to roll over at 7:00 am and say, "Your turn!" while I caught a few more zzzs. Later Bob headed out to shop for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow at City Shop, the store that sells overpriced imported foods, and Metro - the Chinese version of Costco.

A few hours later, it was time for me to head to my moms' day out. Nicole, Morgan's teacher and my friend, was hosting an event at the school for moms. For 200 RMB (roughly $30), there was free flow wine (ahhhh) and appetizers and you had a choice of two of the following, each 1/2 hour in length: head/shoulder massage, foot massage, mini-manicure, or mini-pedicure - I chose the two massages. I have to admit, the shoulder massage was a bit rough, although I certainly could have told her to soften up. I just kept thinking to myself that I needed to get all those knots worked out of my shoulders and neck. But, the head massage was heavenly! I've had a headache for several days now that Tylenol doesn't seem to touch - partly from my own mild illness, partly from dealing with a crying, whiny child who constantly says momma, momma ALL DAY LONG. The foot massage was nice, too, but I was catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in months (a fellow Michigander) and didn't really focus on relaxing. All in all, though, it was a good hour. As I was getting my head massaged, I kept thinking to myself, these are the things I am going to miss when I go back home. Nowhere will I be able to find a 1 hour oil massage for $30, the price at Dragonfly Retreat, where Bob and I frequent. If you want just a standard massage, no oil, it's even less. Body massage, foot massage - both about $25. Basic facial - about $30. If you go to more local places, you can pay significantly less than even these prices! Yes, there are many things I don't like about China, but you can't beat the cost of their massage services.

Along with the massages and food, Nicole also had some expat vendors come in to sell their wares, and she also auctioned off several pieces of furniture donated from a local antique store. Because things are often difficult to find here, many people (wives or moms, especially) start their own businesses, and I try to frequent them whenever possible - not only because I like to support other moms in their quest to do something for themselves, but also because it's nice to have some items that remind me of home. Today, I was thinking about x-mas shopping, so I picked up a few books for Morgan, two of them about Santa, and some jewelry for myself and my nieces (since we're going to be here in Shanghai on x-mas day, I had to make sure there were presents under the tree for me, too!). We also bid and subsequently won two of the auction pieces. One of the pieces is a vase from the Shaanxi province made out of paper. It's pretty cool because on the inside you can see remnants of Chinese newspapers. Another larger piece I wasn't sure about bidding on, so I called Bob up to come see it. When he got there, his first question was "Do we need it?" Nancy, one of Morgan's teachers, heard Bob and said, "Men - you're all the same!" This is very reminiscent of a time at Costco when Bob brought me over to look at a dollie, you know, one of those things you see at Home Depot where the guys with back supports (and big bellies) are lifting things. My first question was "Do we need that?" and a guy standing nearby said to me, "Is it really a question of need?" I guess what this tells me is that it's not a question of what YOU think is needed but what makes your spouse happy. [I'm not even going to mention the time Bob went to Costco and came home with a 4x8 utility trailer!

Afterward, Bob and I headed to the Hongqiao Flower Market, where you can get just about any kind of flower arrangement, plant, etc you can imagine. I, however, had seen on a previous visit x-mas trees! Since this is the first year we'll be actually in town for x-mas day and Morgan is (almost) old enough to appreciate it, I wanted a tree. I didn't actually want a live tree, although you can certainly find them here (mostly still potted) because of all the logistical problems of what to do with it after the holiday. There is no curbside pick up of x-mas trees in Shanghai! And, I didn't want something big, either. It's really just a token tree. Bob says that it's a little like the Chinese economy - on the surface, it looks ok, but it's a little wobbly! At home, we do the whole tree farm deal and we love it. Bob was able to put the Expedition in four wheel drive for one time every year, so it made the whole experience (and expense) worthwhile for him. Tonight we put the tree up. When I said that I hated the "shaping" of artificial trees, Bob said, "What do you mean? What shaping?" Apparently, having an artifical tree (and actually putting it up himself) was a first for Bob. Speaking of which, we should go turn off our lights downstairs. Each strand was only 10 RMB ($1.47) each and the terminals were REALLY thin, so I'm thinking we have an honest to goodness fire hazard on our hands.